


Sweet Girl, You are Not Welcome In the Shallows

by nachttour



Category: Homestuck, MSPA
Genre: Body Horror, Gen, Illustrated, Medical Horror, Offscreen character death, inability to breathe, mention of drowning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-25
Updated: 2013-05-25
Packaged: 2017-12-12 21:28:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,993
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/816241
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nachttour/pseuds/nachttour
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Feferi finds herself tangled in the roots of someone's dream. Untangling herself is the next part of the puzzle.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sweet Girl, You are Not Welcome In the Shallows

Shoes drifted above her. Possibly they were hers, the colors were muted by silt and other material in the water. Two, four, almost five pairs. One drifted lonely, without a mate, the strap worn-through. They were not bad fellows to share the water with.

Observing the graceful, thin fingers of the tree above her, Feferi knew that they were alien. Nothing like that grew on Alternia. All of the vegetation was hardy, sometimes armored against the blinding rays of the sun. Having never seen it in person, she could make an argument that the heavily reinforced vegetation was propaganda, like everything else on the ‘nets. Perhaps the trees of Alternia dipped their veins delicately into the water just like these, forming intricate structures that stood half submerged and half exposed to the air. Hidden in the bisected shadows of the trees ringed around her like witnesses, she studied the stars splashed out across the night sky and recognized nothing.

The moment previous to the breath she took was lost, as well as its fellows. Perhaps this was a dream bubble. Was she still dead and roaming around with her fellows? None of it came to the forefront of her thoughts no matter how seriously she sought the answer. The pressure surrounding her was nothing like the crushing embrace of the sea. Currents seemed like whispers in the face of the rushing roar of the water that was her home. The abyssal planes where Gl’bgolyb and she stayed were nothing like this; this water was cloyingly full of living things. Home was stark and cold, the denizens there flat and glittering; the light that did pierce the depths was diffuse and tapered down into nothing at all. Here the roots pressed down around her like spears, bisected in endless patterns, burrowing down into the thick sludge beneath her.

Catching the lonely sandal and sliding it between her toes she became aware of a painful ache at each inhalation. Her ribs, now that she could spare a moment for them, felt like someone had broken them. There was a purple cast to the water that informed her she had bled or was bleeding. Compared to her friends she healed quickly, and could take a lot of damage. Minor injuries were not something she paid much mind to. Pressing her fingers slowly down the line of her sternum she found the issue. Three neat little holes admitted her clawtips unlawful access to her chest. Ripples above her brought her attention away from the vague pain to the source of the movement.

Indigo-painted toe claws wiggled through the water like tasty little fish, back and forth. Pushing up to break the surface of the thick water Feferi coughed, wincing through the transition between air and water. Terezi sat on one of the root-clumps, looking down at her over the edges of her red glasses.

“Hello my aqueous sovereign.”

“Hello back at yourself, Terezi. Where are we?”

“As this is not my dream I am afraid I cannot offer you the exact location. If I had to hazard a guess I would think it’s something you have dreamed up. So. I offer you the same question: Feferi, where are we?”

Leaning up against the rough surface of the roots, letting her hair drip down her back, Feferi squinted at the landscape. Would that her goggles were on top of her head like usual. Reaching up for them she found them missing. It was hard to see on land; her vision was adapted for the depths. Vaguely she remembered handing them to someone—Sollux. It had been Sollux that had them last. Looking carefully up at Terezi she shrugged. “I don’t have much more of a clue than you do. Sorry!”

The roots beneath her slowly stained fuchsia, the brown sticking out in clumps where the bloody water did not travel. “I do have to ask, are you my Terezi? Do you know where I belong? I seem to be hurt and I don’t quite know what’s going on.”

Breath above water was hard. It bubbled in the back of her throat and strained her chest. Every couple of inhalations required a cough to clear her throat, which only ticked the low level of pain up a notch.

Terezi slid down the roots, coming to be waist deep, looking up into Feferi’s face. This one was younger than her Terezi. Memory slowly filtered back to her.

Feferi pressed her forehead down into her palms, fighting for clarity. Warm arms like little ribbons circled her waist, steadying her.

“What do you remember?”

“I was on Derse. I went to sleep and I remember walking into the throne room. We were going to make a deal with the Black Queen. Something about Jack.”

Terezi’s sharp knuckles traveled up and down her back, tracing the bumps of her spine. It felt nice after so long floating. “What is it that you were trying to do?”

“We wanted to see… wanted to see if she could get him under control. Double-double cross. You and Karcrab were working on it. I walked in and there she was. Meenah, the Empress. It was really confusing, Terezi. It was bad.”

The pressure along her back never let up, and Feferi turned as Terezi rotated them and settled her against the roots. “What about it went bad?”

“There is always a duel.” Feferi dropped her hands to her sides, reaching for her culling fork. It, like her goggles was gone. “There always has to be a duel when the heiress and the ruler are in the same place. I tried to talk to her, tried to understand. I didn’t want to fight her.” Staring at Terezi’s impassive face, Feferi felt her face contort in frustration. It was not supposed to be like that, at all. Bringing her hand up to her chest the holes began to make more sense.

“I didn’t win, did I?”

Terezi papped her cheek, sliding a hand up and along her chest.

*

Four pairs of shoes greeted her on her second waking. Trapped mournfully in the roots, they banged against the structures but could not move along with the gentle tidal motions of the wetlands. The submerged organic matter reminded her a little of the bulkheads of the meteor, the strict scientific lines.

This awakening was stressful. Something was on her face, tacky pressure on her cheeks. Attempting to open her gills produced no result and metallic bumps and pings surrounded her. Clawing at her throat she gagged and whined, trying to make sense of what was going on. There were plastic things in her mouth and only one hand was moving the way it was supposed to. Not underwater: she instead was in a medical-coon. The industrial walls of the meteor rose around her and came slowly into focus. She still did not have her goggles and every plane was nightmare-blurry.

Panic rose high and clear. Why was she in the medical facilities? None of them were docterrorists. The medical equipment had seemed rather sketchy when they looked at it the first time around. It must have been something really serious to warrant its use.

Staring around in the vain hope of answers she was greeted instead with different hues of gray.

Laying back she tried to understand.

One arm.

Other arm definitely not working.

Numb.

Probably on drugs of some sort. Staring down at the extreme edge of the bottom of her vision she could see intravenous things hooked into one arm. Okay. Drugs explained away the numbness beautifully.

Being above-water it was sensible that her gills would not open. Trying again just in case, she felt the muscles along the same side as her good arm flex a little and then catch. Bandages around her thorax. No motion on the other side. Whining in frustration she felt around with her fingers for a call-button or anything. Something round was under her good hand. Applying Herculean effort, she pressed it.

Terezi came into view shortly, red glasses reflecting the room. As she leaned lean over her Feferi caught a glance of herself. It was bad. Bandages covered the side that would not move well, and blisters were spread across her forehead. Wincing a little, Feferi looked up at her, seeking answers. Acknowledging her with a nod, her friend pulled a chair up along her side.

“You’re confused, aren’t you?”

The breathing equipment rose and fell, agitating movement in the periphery of her vision. It forced oxygen into her lungs at a cadence that was borderline uncomfortable. It was not how she would like to breathe and attempting to go against it was uncomfortable.

“You don’t remember?”

No, she certainly did not. If she did she would happily go back to sleep instead of inhabiting this medical-equipment infested moment of confusion. The ambiguity kept her sharp and fully conscious.

“You don’t remember Jack?”

No, she did not remember much of anything, other than a small group of abandoned sandals and waking up with medical equipment jammed down her throat. The need to pull at it was maddening. Their legislacerator-hopeful was one of the most intelligent trolls that Feferi had ever had the pleasure of meeting. Her outrageous sense of humor was only beetlewings on the grubcake. It was Feferi’s sincere hope that she was not being joked with. Scraping her foreclaw along the sheets to give an audible cue to her annoyance, she trained her good eye on Terezi, willing her to understand.

“I’m really sorry, Fef. You’ve been waking up intermittently. Sometimes you remember more than other times. Is this one of those times where you are blank?”

A tiny nod. Trying to move her neck in a more expressive gesture of agreement met with resistance. Training her good eye on her reflection showed that her neck was braced. Terezi seemed to understand. Leaning forward on her elbows she gazed down into Feferi’s face, close enough to touch.

“We’ve been through this dance a few times, my dear fishy friend. I’m going to be brief and brutal, just like the prongs of your 2x3dent through flesh. Take this with only the best intentions.” Feferi closed her eye, listening to the low tones of Terezi’s voice overlaid with the rushing air of the ventilator. “We were discovered by a canine menace shortly before the kids were to join our session. Eridan was ranting about science and everything had been a little tense. Unfortunately Mr. Canine Horrorterror crashed our awesome meteor-party and there were some purple and yellow corpses on the floor shortly thereafter. I was not witness to this, mind you, I got Karkat’s story before he left the mortal coil. You took your culling utensil and made for him with admirable speed and ferocity. You were a fine example of Alternian fury. However, somewhere in your strife some of the equipment came tumbling down. The side that landed on you, unfortunately was superheated.”

Terezi breathed in slowly, following the mechanical cadence.

“When I got up, Noir was dead, you were pinned under the rubble and the last living participant of the conflict in the room. Otherwise, it was kind of a corpse party. We are now a team of three.”

Grief pushed at her chest, and her eyes stung. This rung true, singing through her unbroken bones. She could feel the metal of her fork biting into her palms, the trusted weight of it making her muscles work to get it moving fast enough to kill. The searing sting of superheated metal making contact and then the smell of burning flesh.

There had been conversation, bits and pieces returned to her out of the fog of sleep.

“Her gills are fused shut on one side.”

“Tidal volume is bad. Hopefully the machine can do something to correct for it.”

“I don’t know how we’re supposed to treat a seadweller. Should she be in water?”

“Can one drown if they breathe water?”

“ – have to wean her off of the ventilator –“

“—am really not certain this is the correct course of action—”

Kanaya was the second voice. Feferi could recall the softly warm press of her hand on the unmarred parts of her face. She had gentle hands. They were hands fit to hold the hope of their world.

Light flickered through the roots above her, causing shadows to dance over her face.

Wait.

The only thing that was above her was space-grade alloys and perhaps some insects. Solely the empty, vault-like ceiling and no celestial bodies.

They were on the meteor. Flicking her eyes over she found Terezi leaning forward on her blade-sharp elbows, sharp chin cupped in her palms, observing with predatory stillness. “You lost more time, princess. I’m sorry. This is going to be hard; but, we need to take you off of this.” Tapping her knuckles quickly against a readout monitor, she continued. “The computer has informed us that if we do not get you off of this machine you will not be able to breathe without it. As it is, your respiratory options are kind of halved: it will not do to leave you with none.”

Feferi felt claws tickle over her throat, teasing the damnably tacky edges of the medical tape up and off of her skin. It made a painfully heroic effort at staying put. Edges eventually freed, she fixed her gaze on Terezi, hoping that she would find a way to push a button or use psi, or anything so that she would not have to deal with the removal of the equipment occupying her esophagus.

Her teal friend clicked her teeth, leaning over several times to taste different monitors and gather what information was needed. Eventually there was an off-cadence click that Feferi dearly hoped was some sort of medication. A hand-shaped shadow passed over her face, darkness started to seep in to the edges of her vision.

A hand rested on her throat, firm and cold.

*

Gagging, Feferi jerked in the water, staring around her.

Three pairs of shoes orbited around her like playful sea life. Looking down the line of her legs her toes were unabashedly uncovered. Grabbing a pair out of water and coaxing one out of the tangle of her hair she huffed.

Surfacing, she went from a sienna-haze to Terezi’s hands, attached to Terezi who sat bedecked and ready for the courtroom. The garish combination of her teal and stinging red assaulted Feferi’s eyes and filled her with fondness. Chirring quietly she grinned at her friend. “I come up for air and here you are. It must mean then that you and air are synonymous. Either that or you make me cough. I’m not too sure! Are we in a dream bubble?”

Stretching herself out long on a dense knot of roots, her legislacerator nodded. “Yes. We assuredly are.”

“And why, counselor, are we in the game framework when there is so much work to be done on Alternia? I knew that it was a good idea to keep some aspects. I feel that the dream bubbles are helpful to our psychic citizenry, certainly. That said, there is so much to do back at home, I don’t need to have my mind literally elsewhere!”

Terezi nodded, the low light of the moons reflecting off of the tip of her sharp glasses, looking like two captured stars at the corners of her eyes. “It is a useful staging area to speak with the recently deceased. Or help those plagued by phantoms to clear out their subconscious.”

“I know that!” Terezi was acting a little strange. Smoothing her hands up along the inside of her arms and leaving damp trails, Feferi flared her fins at her. “No need to go over things that we both understand. How’s the state of my revolution?”

“I wouldn’t give it such an endearing name.”

“Pshh. That they feel comfortable enough to be publicly rowdy rather than assassinate me says I’m doing a good job.”

“They don’t really seem to think so.”

“Of course they don’t! They’re angry! But we’ll get it sorted so that everyone has some sort of an equal voice. That is what it needs to be. There’s going to be no more of that carp like before.”

Terezi pressed her gloved hands to the side of Feferi’s cheeks, gently deflating them after she glubbed them out into little round pockets. “How is that going to occur? Tell me again, the story fills me with legislative delight.”

“Well, we’ll have a representative body, definitely. At least for this generation I think what would be best is a democratic monarchy. They can have their representative body, and I have some executive oversight. Until they have adjusted to actually being able to do things fairly and without a bunch of murdering, it’ll be nothing but corruption. The bodies can check me, and I can check them. It’ll be fair. Very fair.”

Running a forefinger along the edge of one of her fins, Terezi smiled, revealing pointy fangs. “We will run the kingdom in the courtroom, no?”

“Basically, yes. They state their wishes to their representatives, we make laws, laws get enacted, it’s great. Positively delightful! I am accountable, everyone is accountable to the law.” Glittering with delight, Feferi kicked her feet out behind her. The idea of a well-run society was something that she had dreamt of often when doing her schoolfeeds.

“And what happens if they use all of those fair and just laws to do something bad to you?” Terezi had stopped her touching, clawtips lightly resting in the mass of Feferi’s hair.

“That’s what I have you for. You are the best, simply the best. In having you I have stacked the odds significantly in my favor.”

“I could turn into a liability you know.” Terezi drew a hand forward, bringing some of her damp hair along with it, pressing her lips into the coils and snarls. “I could be used to make a case for corruption, and for imperial-overreach. I could be the one to take you down. Above all things, I serve the truth. If you were in the wrong, even I couldn’t save you.”

Feferi watched the damp planes of Terezi’s mouth, and the spider-web thin strands of her hair that stuck to her lips. “I wouldn’t ever want you to lie for me.”

“That is well, dearest sovereign. But if you were found complicit, then it is likely that I was part of your scheming. You aren’t very good at being tricky.”

“You were always a better tactical mind than me, yes.” Leaning up closer, she watched Terezi spin little coils of her hair around her forefinger. Everything about Terezi was strict and sharp. Hard lines, cruel edges, glossed all over by her raucous laughter and ability to find a way out of anything at all. “So tell me, what brings you here today? To this dreamy place where the roots can’t decide whether or not they want to commit to soil or travel a while yet?”

A loop caught itself around her neck and under her chin, snapping taut. In the background she could hear the homogenous roar of thousands of voices – too numerous to be distinct any longer. It was a low, angry drone. The wind rustled her hair where the noose did not constrain it, it felt like cuttlefish tentacles flirting with her legs. The breeze was salty, and the moons warm against her skin.

Terezi stared down at her, the reflective panes of her glasses thieving away her feelings and replacing them with a dispassionate mirrored surface. “I’m exorcising phantoms, before I head off to join them. I have a date with a disciplinary block. I told you, you aren’t very good at being tricky.”

Touching her fingers to her throat, Feferi found nothing. Trying to speak she found she could not make a sound pass her lips. Looking into the red glasses fixed in her direction the livid bruises decorating her throat told the story that her lawmaker could not. Pressing her forefinger to Terezi’s and joining their thumbs she made a sound like a chirp if maybe the listener was feeling particularly generous. Diamond held between them, she descended, slipping beneath the water until her fingers broached the surface and disappeared, leaving Terezi behind in the dry planes above-water.

*

Her shoe orbited her head, caught in the filtration system. Its circular travels irritated her. Tangled around her like mass of seaweed, her hair floated free. They took away her ribbons after she tried to clog her filter with it. Slamming her palms for the umpteenth time against the rounded surface of the tube she was contained in she clicked her teeth, buzzing with frustration.

They had no right to keep her here.

No right to do this to her.

Not when she was doing what she was born to do. This was her birthright! They were lucky that she had been so simpering, and so soft before. It was only the right thing to do.

The two blood-traitors walked in and she felt her fins flare out in a further display of aggression. Baring her teeth at the glass she pressed up against it, feeling faint and ill. Flaring her gills as much as she could did not allow her to catch her breath, so she panted, taking in deep gulps of water and flushing it through, trying to expedite the process.

Vriska stared dispassionately back at her, mechanical eye whirring in and out of focus. “You know you aren’t going to accomplish shit with that, other than making yourself dizzy and sick, right? I mean you can do it if you want. It just keeps getting funnier.” Sticking her hand into her pocket and looping the thumb of her bionic one through her belt loop she rocked backward on her heels. Terezi followed at her side, looking less amused and more frustrated.

“You realize that if you keep doing that you will use up the oxygen in your tank quickly and will end up on the bottom of your tube gasping, right? We have done this dance several times and it just seems to be less and less fun for you, progressively.” Walking up to the place where Feferi’s hands were pressed, she gazed in the direction of the glass, cloudy red eyes not tracking correctly. “Then again, you are royalty and far be it for me to dictate what you do and do not do with your time.” Slapping the side, Feferi growled.

“Let. Me. Glubbing. OUT. You have NO RIGHT!”

Coughing she took another gasping breath, batting at her hair which insisted on curling into her face.

“I have all the right, actually. As the acting ethics-specialist of this ship. While you are within your right to cull your teammates as the heiress apparent to the Alternian throne, there are stipulations as to -when- such behavior is appropriate. You failed to meet them and thusly you are confined. You have been without a moirail for the duration of this game, and your behavior has become increasingly erratic. For the safety of yourself as well as others, we have determined that it is to be the tube for you until such time as you are calmer and capable of rational decisions.”

Vriska leaned over Terezi’s shoulder. “It was a bitch getting you in there. There is no way we’re letting you out just because you’re throwing another tantrum. We’re kind of lucky the meteor has tubes that are shatter-resistant.”

Trying to find calm, all there was hiding under her ribs was a roiling mass of rage. When she culled them it was for their own good. They were SUFFERING. Was not the role of the Empress to bring peace to her citizenry? She was supposed to make them happy. This kind of game would not allow anything like happiness. There could be no progress, there could be no justice. Just crazy puzzles and a timeline that wore her friends and compatriots down into shadows that danced to some unknown puppeteer’s tune. It was right to let them sleep, to make sure that they never woke up again. It was right of her, and no one could convince her of it otherwise.

Shadows played over the back wall of her room, and Feferi stared up to find the source of the light, gasping. Nothing showed itself other than the fine mesh over the filter to keep her clothes and hair from being tangled in it.

Terezi stood under her, looking up at her angrily hooked toes. “We’ll try again tomorrow, Fef.”

The lights went down. Feferi howled, hands knotted into her hair.

The spider would be next.

*

Grabbing her shoes out of the water Feferi pushed out of the water, feeling silly for having let them drift. Something seemed a little strange about the place that she was swimming. Just a moment ago she had been visiting the depths where the dream-version of her mother resided. Transitioning into the murky waters of this place had caused her to cough a little – the mix of water was different than what she was used to.

Hauling herself out of the water she stood on the roots, stretching out long and trilling out a happy note. The sun in this place was up and was not painfully scalding. Must be one of the kids’ dreams then. It made her curious to see who dreamt of trees that could not quite decide whether they were trees or seaweed. Turning to go and see who else was in the bubble she almost collided with Terezi. Glancing down she found her friend’s unmarred gray eyes locked with hers and she grinned.

“Tez, I don’t know what happened but I’m so happy for you! Is it great, seeing everything?”

Terezi rocked back a bit on her heels, offering a crooked grin. “Yeah. A bit disconcerting, if I am honest with myself.”

“Well, I’m sorry that some things are bothersome, but it’s really awesome that you can see again! I didn’t even realize that this was a thing!” Grinning and wiggling a little in her dripping sandals, Feferi flexed her toes to get a better purchase on the roots they stood on. “Who’s dream?”

“Mm? Oh. We’re in mine. I dreamt this a while back. Coolkid sent me some pictures of something called ‘mangroves’. I always thought they might be something you would enjoy. You are kind of nautical themed.”

Beaming as she turned in a circuit, Feferi chirped. “I really do like them! It was so considerate of you to save them for me.” Something caused her to turn and look at Terezi more fully. Her teal friend seemed drawn in, shoulders pointed in and demeanor a bit shut off, versus her usual ‘come at me’ vibe.

“Teezee is there something going on? Is everything okay? You seem kind of … dunno, low ebbed? Where did all your sass go?”

Terezi shrugged a little, looking to one side. “Dunno. Stockpiling it later for emergencies.” Stepping forward she looked up into Feferi’s face. “Here’s the funny thing about the mangroves. I started coming here when I needed to think. None of us would conceptualize a place like this, right?”

Looking down into the hollows between roots, she hissed out through her teeth. “But then, you know what happened? I started seeing little fish down in my roots. Swimming around. I ignored them for the most part, like you do. Then they started telling me stories.”

Feferi was not feeling comfortable about the direction of this discussion.

 

“Stories about where they’d swum and what they’d seen. Some of them were little starfish. They’d gone far enough that they’d even swum home – through the stars and the futility of this game.” Terezi frowned, flexing her hands into fists. “They had your face, Feferi. There are so many of you. I don’t know why you kept coming here. But there are a lot of you. And you swim under my roots and you haunt my steps. You always are looking up at me through the roof of your little root prison, with your blank eyes like little windows.”

Feferi took a step back, a light breeze tugging gently at their clothes. There was a lot of anger in this person, and she was no longer certain that this was her friend. The indigo on her toe-claws certainly argued against it.

Terezi decaptchalogued her cane. Turning to face her she fell into stance, body molding into form that spoke of much long practice. “You look like a myth, something that has come to charm me away and sing me down into the pressure where my bones will crack and I will drown. I don’t want to drown, Feferi. Not under your dreams, not in the absurdity of this game, not in the blood of my friends, and not in anything else. I need you to leave me alone. Get out of my shallows.”

The image of a school of her, floating in Terezi’s roots filled Feferi’s mind and gave her pause as to what to do next. Where to go was a hard question; she was not entirely sure how she had gotten here in the first place.

 

Kicking at the bark and jamming her sandal more securely between her toes she shrugged. “I don’t know why the various versions of me come here so much. I can only speak for myself, but maybe it’s because I missed you. And I didn’t see you enough when I was alive. Maybe I thought we would be reely awesome friends.” Stepping back she abandoned her sandals on the roots, laughing and pressing down into the deeper dark waiting below the floating particulate mater in the water. She wiggled through the roots and aimed for the band of cold below the sun-warmed surface, leaving the tangled world behind her, a school of white-eyed sisters observing her departure.

 


End file.
